Women Want To Take Control Of Their Sexuality: Why Not Try Female Condoms?
Who's supposed to bring the condom? It sounds perhaps trivial, but it tells a lot about the way we relate to one another - especially between persons of different sex and gender.
With the existence of the female condom, girls could have complete control of their sexual health. Yet, a study revealed that 85% of French women surveyed never used a female condom! And another one reports that women tend to rely on men to bring condoms.
What about men bring their condoms and women... also carry theirs? It would allow more reliable protection for both partners, as male and female condoms are the only barrier against STIs and pregnancy alike.
Let's explore the reasons for female condoms’ unpopularity and their advantages, if only we'd welcome them into our lives.
Introducing... the female condom
The origins of the female condom
The female condom has a similar history to the male one, except that it never reached the same success...
While the production started in Europe in the 19th century, the public began to be more open to the female condom when AIDS appeared in the 1980s. Newer versions emerged, such as the "Femidom", and only then, the internal condom established itself as a valuable alternative to the male's one.
Nevertheless, they were more expensive, suffered a lack of advertising as well as awkward reviews from journalists. And they didn't really seduce women either.
How to use a female condom?
Female condoms are made of nitrile, polyurethane or latex, and work the same as a male condom, acting as a barrier between the sperm and the uterus, except that they're internal.
Wondering how to insert a female condom? Check this simple tutorial.
Female condom: pros and cons
Why use a female condom?
Women have full control over their sexual health: condoms are the only way to protect against STIs and pregnancy.
Female condoms don't require a prescription.
It's suitable for those who can't take hormonal contraception.
For those who can't use male condoms due to size or latex allergies.
It protects during group and anal sex.
It can be inserted up to 8 hours before sex, thus not interrupting foreplay.
An erection isn't necessary to put it on.
Nitrile is a more heat-transmitting material than latex, meaning that it doesn't impact sensations during sex.
It doesn't compress the penis like male condoms, allowing a better feel during ejaculation.
What about female condoms disadvantages?
Female condoms are slightly less effective than men condoms: perfect use is around 95%, typical use is about 79%. In comparison, the male one is approximately 98% and 85%.
Off-putting look: the outer ring inelegantly sticks out from the entrance of the vagina.
It takes time to get used to it, mainly to insert it properly.
The feel: some people reported female condoms being uncomfortable due to their lack of tightness.
The price: a single condom's cost ranges from 2 to more than 3 euros.
Availability: as there is no much demand, the offer is quite limited. It's rare to find female condoms in most pharmacies and sex shops.
Below the surface: the fear of sexual empowerment?
The female condom's lack of popularity can also be a sign of deeper dynamics. As much as it could embody an opportunity for women to rely only on themselves for their sexual health, a survey led by Sustain has shown that taking control over their sexuality is still a source of anxiety for many.
Even though casual sex and multiple partners became part of our modern lifestyle (let's thank the sexual revolution for that!), a woman can still be judged as "sexually keen" for something as "innocent" as taking the initiative of bringing condoms…
Contraception: a burden on women's shoulders
There's also an unspoken dynamic between genders when it comes to contraception, and you can find heaps of articles advising how to bring on the topic with your partner. In fact, genders are still the basis for decision-making, and that's what reveals this study: "Men bring condoms, women take the pill".
But I mean, shouldn't we all bring condoms anyway? Many women are also tired of the "negotiations" happening at the crucial moment of... wearing the bloody condom. And let's not even talk about "stealthing", when a man removes his condom without the partner's consent… Which is disturbingly common.
Women know how much potential partners get creative when it comes to giving reasons why they can't (or don't want) to wear a condom: "I got tested last week, I am clean", "But I want to feel you", but sometimes, it can also be a problem of condom size.
Shouldn't all these reasons push women to take ownership of the female condom? In the end, it shows many advantages that male condoms don't have, but one of its main barriers is their lack of recognition, representation, and familiarity with the public.
Why relying on men's goodwill when there is a solution for females to come out always protected?
Condoms are the only way to avoid getting STIs, and whatever the reason you've been given, it's not good enough to not wear one. We all should share responsibility when it comes to safe sex. And that's non-negotiable. ♥
Let's be honest: what is the first thought that comes to your mind when you hear about scheduling sex? Boring. Laborious. So-not-sexy. Yet, many sexologists swear by this practice to cultivate intimacy within a relationship.