How to Sext? A Simple Guide to Safe Sexting
Photo by Dainis Graveris on SexualAlpha
The omnipresence of technology in our lives changed our relation to one another, including sex and love relationships.
As we become more connected to the rest of the world, our intimacy is more exposed to others. That's the main risk when it comes to sexting: once you send a file, you don't always have control over where it ends up!
And so, is it even possible to sext safely?
Without being able to promise absolute safety, there are many simple precautions you can take. Let's see how to implement them!
Sexting, what is it?
It's a no-brainer: sex and texting make... Sexting!
From the Cambridge Dictionary, sexting is "the activity of sending text messages that are about sex or intended to sexually excite someone."
Mobile technologies became a way to meet people (think online dating!), maintain relationships, communicate feelings, foreplay without being physically together… Oh well, the Internet has undoubtedly opened a horizon of possibilities!
In 2017, Clue published a study revealing that 67% out of the 140,000 interviewees have sexted at least once in their lives.
Quite a bit, isn't it?
Is sexting dangerous?
Although sexting can be an exciting experience, it can also turn into a traumatizing one.
The danger is that your content ends up in the hands of unwanted recipients because whatever you store on your phone is never 100% secure from being seen by others.
Sharing something personal can leave us vulnerable, even more, when it comes to exposing our body.
So, what are the worst cases scenarios?
Hacking of your personal data and files
Bullying and blackmailing
Forwarding and revenge porn: it means that the person you send your sext to shares it with a third party, without your consent
Violation of the law: sexting is illegal for those under 18 years old, so unwelcomed sexts can be classified as sexual harassment.
How to practice safe texting?
Let's dive into the golden rules of sexting!
# Triple check that your sext goes to the RIGHT person
It sounds obvious, but mistakes happen. Often.
# Don't forward a sext to someone else
Beyond the fact that it's incredibly disrespectful to do such a thing, revenge porn is against the law.
In the USA, some states punish revenge porn with a sentence of up to one year of jail. In Germany and France, it would cost you two years or a fine of up to 60,000 euros.
# Keep your sexts anonymous in case they're discovered
Don't show your face or easily recognizable body parts, such as tattoos or birthmarks
Use an impersonal background
Turn off your device location services on all apps
You can also blur some parts of pictures with a photo editing app
# Get the habit of deleting sexts
You can keep your sexts in an encrypted hard drive, but it's always safer to delete them. Apps such as Secure Eraser help to delete all files permanently and prevent their replication.
# Consent applies to sexting too
As sex requires agreement from both parts, so does sexting. Asking and giving consent educates others about our personal boundaries.
Before engaging in sexting, it's always better to agree first on what will be sent, how, how often... In brief, establish a sort of agreement!
# Communication is key
Share what you feel comfortable with (or not) with your partner: are you okay with photos, videos, or perhaps texts only? Would you prefer that your sexts get deleted after being seen?
# Research about the risks
There is no 100% safe way to sext. Hence, you should never send something that you wouldn't want to be published...
# Use apps instead of regular messages
Let's scrap off the apps that are NOT safe: Instagram, Facebook Messenger, Snapchat.
Now, what are the best apps to sext safely?
It features the option of deleting your messages after being sent, and end-to-end encryption (a system of communication where only the communicating users can read the messages).
Great app that provides secure and private chats: end-to-end encryption, message expiration time, the possibility of deleting messages and staying anonymous.
A secure messaging app with end-to-end encryption that protects you from hackers. You can lock it, set a single viewing for photos, and automatically delete messages.
A better alternative to Skype and FaceTime, because it features end-to-end encryption.
Best for calls with end-to-end encryption.
It features self-destructing messages and screenshot protection!
# Turn off automatic back-up to a cloud
We tend to forget about it, but the pictures you take from your phone are automatically stored in a cloud service, hence becoming more vulnerable to a cyberattack.
# Secure your phone
Setting up a password manager can help you with remembering all your passwords for you. It also provides multi-factor authentication for added security (fingerprint and facial recognition are recommended!) and can keep files locked.
# Use a Virtual Private Network
A VPN hides all your web activity in an encrypted tunnel.
# Beware of your connection and your partner's one
In public places, wireless networks make your files more vulnerable. Perhaps agree on a code with your partner to make sure it's okay to send your sext.
Sexting: how do you feel about it?
Before wondering how to sext safely, it's good to check with yourself first: is it something I really want to do?
Think about your expectations and boundaries, and always remember that you shouldn't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable! ♥︎
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